Giving Aix-en-Provence a Big Hug

simply put, my adventures: good, bad, new, french, exciting, terrifying, enlightening... whatever they may be
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New York, and currently France
I'm a junior and a music major at Barnard College spending the Spring 2010 semester abroad in Aix-en-Provence at the AUCP (American University Center of Provence). I can't wait to share everything that I experience! However, regular updating is contingent on my internet availability...

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Leaving

My realization that this is all coming to end has slowly but surely started to hit me. It hit me when we finished our last final yesterday and I immediately celebrated with a nutella filled cookie. It hit me when I left the American Center one last time. It hit me when Caroline left last night. It hit me when I hugged Lisa goodbye before we embark on our flight tomorrow (big yes for being together then). It especially hit me when I punched in the password to get into my host mother's place one last time.

My dear friend Mimi wrote us all a facebook note last night about her wonderful experience, and how she learned a lot about herself. I always wondered what that meant, because I never took the opportunity to evaluate how much I had learned about myself in this short period of time. When I walked without my Ipod over to my last Saturday outdoor market, I realized how much I feel as though I have changed. A change that I feel like is long overdue, and a change I didn't anticipate would happen.

When I went to Israel a few years ago, everyone said your life would change there and I felt a little empty not feeling the same affects as most people did. I felt change, yes, but some of the people who I went with were looking at real estate there. But I feel like change happens gradually, without you knowing, and you don't realize it happens until you're about to encounter another change. In this case, coming home.

I learned a lot about myself within the comfort zone of my independence and my aloneness. A lot of study abroad experiences involve constantly stepping out of comfort zones to get accustomed to a lifestyle you never think you're going to be able to adjust to. I suddenly find the enjoyment in just being myself, rather than a dependence on any other people. Being alone is not lonely.

I feel like I have a lot of things to thank for that. The first, is the obvious. Aix-en-Provence is so quaint and fantastic that you want to relish in every moment that you can with or without people. Another thing to thank, is the fact that I came to France single. Not because I dated many French boys (not many. I'll elaborate on this more later in this entry), but because I was flooded with having to do more things alone. I feel like it's easy to completely accept yourself when someone else is also accepting you at the same time. In serious relationships, I feel as though it is inevitable to feel a safety blanket. This is not to negate the good, but another facet.

I have become more accustomed to, and in fact, embraced, discovering new things on my own and not wanting to tell someone else right away. Rather, wanting to remember moments that you share with yourself, because you're the only person that can love certain memories in the way you remember them. In spite of discovering things like the mere horror of Brussels with Lisa and Caroline, the memories you create by and for yourself are more important when it comes to bettering yourself, as well.

There is no point in feeling awkward when you're waiting for a person, because people are always waiting. There is no point in doubting a fashion choice, a life choice, or any other type of choice that can welcome judgement because people are constantly making personal choices themselves. Etc., etc.

These are things that I never really understood until recently. I was always aware of them, wanted to change them, and wanted to constantly be a better version of myself, but being a study abroad student floods you with personal growth that you don't even realize.

When it comes to bettering myself here, I also have to thank my amazing friends for that. In spite of a few unhappy people in the program who displaced their unhappiness on the rest of us, I really loved the people in my program. Here we all were, changing, and learning, and it didn't have to be recognized out loud to recognize it.

More specifically, with Caroline and Lisa since the three of us kind of found each other from the beginning. When Caroline left last night, I realized how good friendships are so good when the bring out the best in you. I love my friends who are already in my life so much, but to share a study abroad experience with two people who you have an incredible kinship with is special in its own way. I felt more spontaneous, and every moment was always hilarious. We had our rituals, and we had our random moments that made each day full of comedy. Towards the end, I realized my closeness with other friends, too, which is also going to be difficult to leave.

One topic that always ensured perpetual comedy, concerns the French men. Between their text messages, dating style, and copious amount of cultural misunderstandings, dating in France has been the most hilarious experience of all. Not that our french text messages are probably all that great, but one of my favorite english text messages has got to be this one:

"When you arrive, you make me ringing!"
Translation: "When you get there, call me!"
Obviously I knew what this meant right away, but it makes me wonder if "you make me ringing" may also be some sort of sexual come on for the French. Their moves are for the most part outdated that this would not surprise me one bit. French people also use SO MANY EMOTICONS. One guy I was seeing once sent me a text message with two emoticons in one, which was an exception to the one per text rule which occurred almost every time.

French men are also feminine. Yes, I know, doesn't this make them romantic? Sure, of course it does. But I'd rather some good old fashioned American flirting than a nutella crepe to lure me into a relationship. They also love to touch each other in appropriately. There was a period of time in which one of my French Squeeze's happened to be the best friend of Lisa's French Squeeze, and the two of them would inappropriately slap each other's genitalia as if were the most normal thing on earth. Denying they ever made out did not have Lisa and I convinced at all. Nonetheless, it was fun to go on a double date (the one time) and he took me to Cassis one time and picked me up from the airport when I came back from Copenhagen. He once offered to take me to "salad and pink wine," but the offer seemed like too much of a joke. But everyone loves a good language barrier, thus making this "thing," whatever it was, interesting. These guys loved how much money they had, and weren't afraid to talk about it. They would go to this club and inappropriately buy a 150 euro bottle of Jack Daniels just to have a table. If you have that money, that's great for you. But let's talk about it for 2 more hours.

That was my second Squeeze. My first French Squeeze was really really kind, but it just wasn't for me. As opposed to Americans, they don't ask you to if you want to be their girlfriend (which I'm not so sure really exists anyway in America). They sort of just... assume.

No, not sort of. They assume. I had been seeing this guy for about a week, and by seeing, I mean a cafe, a glass of wine, or a walk in the park from time to time (no, seriously, these things happened), and all of sudden he started calling me his girlfriend. Really now? At first I went along with it because I figured more feelings could start to develop and why not? However, relationships emotionally move much slower here, inevitably, because there is a language barrier. He understands English pretty well and we spoke French most of the time, but a good part of our relationship was finding the other one adorable because of something he/she said in French/English. Nonetheless, breaking up with him was awkward because the relationship only lasted about a month, and also Aix-en-Provence should be renamed Ex-en-Provence because I saw him everywhere the rest of my semester. Like I said, Aix is small.

There were some mini-dates as well but those really aren't important. I think my point has been made. I don't want to say that I'm not a romantic, but sometimes it's just too much. Sometimes, you want to be treated like a person, not a like an American Girl. I think being an American Girl is put on such a pedestal here, because the French guys think you're going to be enamored with them simply because they are French guys. But here's the thing French guys: for the most part, you make me awkward. Thanks for the fun, laughs, good times, but you shouldn't text us girls so much. Also, what's it like being a man? When you know, get back to me.

In all seriousness, dating in France was FUN, and enriched my experience so much more.

This is long, I know. I just wanted to say a lot. I love Aix-en-Provence so much, and you should really make it down here. I'm going to miss walking down the street, buying a baguette, and finding half of it is gone by the time you get to where you want to go. I'm going to miss all of the wildflowers that grow, the greenery all around the city, and pace. I'm anxious to get back to New York, but putting anxious in a sentence with New York is no surprise. I truly feel this has changed my life, and I can't wait to carry that part of me with me whether it be in my basket bag or with how I look at myself.

What an experience. I really don't know what else to say. Thank you for reading this whole long thing if you did.

I have so much love in me, so thank you Aix. Best semester of my life. Hands down.

At 2:40 pm on Sunday the 23rd, I'll be home!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

The Final Countdown

4 days. I leave in 4 days.

I am currently packing instead of studying for two finals on Friday, and I remember blogging when I was packing to go TO Aix. I actually may need to buy another suitcase, but I think I should be okay. A lot of my suitcase is filled with gifts I got for apparently everyone and their mother. Do you think I can bring herbs on the plane? Or is that something you need to check? I got SO MUCH chocolate because I feel like it's really hard to shop for guy friends in the South of France. Unfortunately, packing made me so stressed I ate one. So that means someone is getting one less chocolate bar.

Bittersweet feelings. So so so bittersweet. I love it here and I love the niche I've found, but there are so many things. I miss New York. I miss my friends. More than that, I miss my family a lot a lot. I wish I could be home to see my brother transition into being a college freshman. I've always been incredibly close with my family, especially my brother, and I never realized how lucky I was to go to college so close to home. I also miss performing. I miss Americans, as well. Take that last one as you will.

Meanwhile, Lisa's birthday was yesterday and it was epictastic.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Cannes..

... WAS FANTASTIC! What a wonderful few days this has been. We saw Tim Burton on the yacht marina. That is all. Not to mention, Cannes is a lovely lovely ville.

A reason why the French are so dramatic upon seeing Michael Douglas waving in his car:
French girl: Michael Douglaus! Il est trop sympa! Il fait le "coucou!!" (Translation: Michael Douglas! He is so nice! He says hello!) A you have to be there moment? Perhaps.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Lazy Thursday, if you will


Today we went to Cassis and the Calanques, two of the most beautiful areas in the South of France. Chasty's language partner, Guillaume, was awesome enough to take us, the day was incredible and I felt so French. We had to climb all of these mountains and rocks that were all facing the Med Sea. Eventually we hiked down and put our stuff down in this little beach/rock area that hit the water. The med is so clear and blue and amazing.

After a nice dip in the water, we even jumped off cliffs!! I was terrified. I couldn't believe all of the little boys that were so reckless... it made me wonder if I was ever that reckless as a child. Probably not.

And if we didn't feel French enough, we had a picnic on the rocks with wine, baguette, cheese, chocolate, apples, etc... basically, the gang was all there. To the right is where we were.

Got a nice little color! I plan on stepping off the plane into America with a French glow if that's possible.

ALSO the Spectacle yesterday actually went surprisingly well! So well, that our director cried. It was... surprising. She also gave us too much wine beforehand. Thanks Lilli. I guess it's pretty cool that we put on a theatre piece in French.

This gem of a picture is Caroline and I in art class.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

10 Days Left.

Yes, I realize it has been a while. I have been so caught up that I forgot that I had a blog!! Yeah, I know, excuses are great. Anyway, I can't believe that this is all winding down, my finals are next week, and I need to start thinking about how big the extra suitcase I need to buy will be.

Tomorrow we have our "Grand Spectacle" for our Theatre class and our art class. Naturally, I would be excited about this. However my paintings look like children's art work and our Theatre teacher, Jean Claude, has only rehearsed one of my scenes once.

When I was in 1st grade I was a French artist for Halloween because that was my aspiration at the time. How strange an aspiration, since not only was it achieved at the age of 20, but my artwork is so bad that it looks like it actually was from first grade. In addition, in spite of Jean Claude's lack of time management and the same black tight pants he has worn since the first week that leaves unfortunately nothing to the imagination, the Theatre spectacle should be really fun since we're essentially laughing the whole time. Let me set the scene: the opening sequence is us walking around in costume to Viva La Vida. Yes, yes, and yes. I am also pumped to meet all of the host mom's after hearing stories about their promiscuous ex-husband's or over indulged cats.

Another thing that just happened, was the Grand Ball last saturday! It's publicity ad called it "The Night of Grand Prestige" with 10 ambiances, 10 rooms, and many bars. The Grand Ball was at the engineering school where most of us have our language partners/ex language partners/rock and salsa class, and it was essentially prom part 2. Minus the dates, because everyone just kind of goes. Minus the prom drama (PROMA copyright Evan Schwartz), because everyone just kind of goes. Like I always say, the proof is in the pudding, and if the pudding was a conglomerate of pictures, we had a grand ol' time. It was fun seeing our "friends" from Rock and Salsa class, since they generally don't take us seriously anyway. We also ran into every person we knew from our 4 month cluster of French friends. This part of the night was 50% incredible, 25% awkward, and 25% classic Aixoise.

I am so sad this is all coming to a close, but I still have 10 more days to really "sink my teeth into." My french has gotten better, so much so that I actually dreamed in French last night... or so I think. I remember having a dialogue with someone in French, and the person kept saying to me "I don't understand what you're saying!" So yes, I dreamt in French.

Thursday I'm going to Cassis, which is a beautiful town facing the Med Sea. I had been taken there a few months ago when it was a little cold, but I get to go again when it is warmer. The first time was still beautiful but second time's a charm. And then FRIDAY we're going to Cannes to check out the film festival and do some exploring... you know, the things we do best. I am so excited about Cannes. When I was in 8th grade, my mom got me a sequenced tank top that said "Cannes," and I remember saying "MOOOOOOM WHAT'S A CAN? WHAT DOES THIS SHIRT MEAN?" I'm glad that when I was 13, after having been exposed to the film world more or less, I was still so well rounded. Speaking of well-rounded, when I told Craig I was going to Cannes he said: "Like in Entourage?" I love my brother.

Hopefully this rain in Aix will stop. Hopefully the volcano will stop. Hopefully I can get home in 1o days.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

SPRING BREAK...

... WAS SO LONG!! Especially thanks to the volcanos. Basically, we got stranded in Brussels, but ended up in Paris before going back to Aix which ended up being quite lovely.

Anyway, Spring Break was a whirlwind. Just like I did with Spain, I'll write the top ten things in no order about each country we visited:

Brussels
1. Belgian Waffles
2. Unlimited Chocolate Samples
3. Museum of Musical Instruments and the Comics Museum
4. Fries with unlimited sauces
5. The big grand place/square filled with lovely buildings and many outdoor cafe's. We had a happy hour there, and it was our first drink to kick off the break
6. The Delirium Cafe - over 2000 beers with tons of flavors like COOKIE

7. Finding Kebab Street
8. The underwhelming peeing statue which mirrors how underwhelming Brussels is as a city
9. The fact that Brussels looks like the Bronx
10. I can't even think of 10 ugh Brussels

Prague!!! By far my favorite.
1. Seeing Obama - we went a beer garden and the street was closed off so we couldn't cross it. All of a sudden millions of motorcycles -- really, millions!! -- rolled by and police cars and then a limo with Obama in it! He was in Prague signing some treaty or doing some President stuff.
2. The walking tour/learning history and wishing
I paid more attention in high school. Particularly the Jewish history. The jewish quarter in Prague was named that by Hitler. Hitler thought that after WWII all of the Jews would be exterminated, and the Jewish quarter of Prague would be like a museum. It was so disturbing and it gave us all the chills.
3. The PUB CRAWLS were so fun (meeting people, getting a good old taste of Prague night life)
4. All of the architecture
5. The exchange rate - about 25 crowns to 1 euro. Going shopping and seeing 1100 crowns pop up after a purchase is a funny moment
6. The things you can eat and drink on the street like the famous Prague pastry and mojitos
7. I got to see Allie again! She ended up being in our room in the hostel!!
8. Taking Wizzair from Brussels to Prague. Wizzair is a pink plane. It was terrifying and dangerous and wikipedia says it should go out of business rather soon. Feeling good to have survived it.


9. All of the tourists that randomly jumped into a picture with us, and now we have a series of nine photos.

10. Because we can't understand Czech, we accidentally bought raw turkey instead of raw chicken at the supermarket. A man on the line behind us kindly informed us. We also met characters all over the supermarket, including an old man who pulled Caroline aside to practice English.

Amsterdam
1. It is just so lovely with all of the canals and rather short buildings
2. The walking tour, the history, etc. I became a history nerd this vacation
3. Anne Frank House was so unbelievably touching
4. Going to the Keukenhof, the worlds largest/most photographed tulip garden. We then biked around the garden fields and some more of the Netherlands. It was like being in Narnia which has been a lifelong dream. There was also an amazing zip line!!

5. Bacon pancakes and Banana pancakes... Amsterdam is known for pancakes which were so delicious
6. Seeing the canals of Amsterdam at night
7. The homeless man that served us breakfast at our "hotel," but it was really a hostel
8. First hearing about the volcano and not thinking that it was an actual reality
9. Taking pictures in the I Am Amsterdam sign... not because it was particularly cool, but so touristy, and everyone does it, so why not us?
10. Being unbelievably disturbed by the women galavanting in windows in the Red Light District

Other fun facts:
We were scheduled to leave back for Aix on a Saturday morning, but we got to the airport and every sign said "cancelled" like Home Alone.

We went back and forth from train stations and airports to get refunds and new tickets. The train station was insane. The guy who sold tickets said for three people the cost of a train to Marseille, a town close by, would be 444 euros (about 650 dollars). We literally were so delirious and overwhelmed that we laughed in his face and couldn't stop laughing either. It was one of our better moments. Then he said the train was leaving from Paris in a half hour and we couldn't make it anyway. We took a train to Paris anyway to deal with it there. We just needed to get out of Brussels, by any means necessary.

Eventually we got to Paris, and after waiting on another long line, we we informed that we couldn't get a train back to Aix monday night. This whole process has so far taken 12 hours. Luckily Caroline's friend had space in her apartment in Paris, the weather in Paris was incredible, and I got to have a lovely dinner with Becca!

The fact that we are back in Aix seems like a dream. I actually woke up in the middle of the night, terrified, because I had no idea where I was. Luckily the weather in Aix is currently unbelievable and warm and I love it.

Actually though, I come home in a month IF I can get home. The volcano stuff is evidently getting worse, and the volcanic ash can melt the engines of the plane which would just make the plane FALL from the sky. If we have to take a boat home, I plan on redoing all of Titanic minus the sinking part.